Some days it really is HARD!

Good ideas are fairly easy to come up with, but every good idea is never as easy to implement. I guess this becomes the ever growing pile of discouragement that some Nigerian men and women cite as reasons they are spectators to the perpetuating problems and fail to contribute to the solution. The problems facing Nigeria are, without a doubt, overwhelming, and before a sign of hope appears in the horizon, it is met with more obstacles and increasing problems at every corner. Some believe that in order to defeat the obstacles they must secure better positions that enable them with the capacity and resources to make a difference (i.e. being a citizen with one vote cannot guarantee that your voice is heard but being an elected official with one vote can move and shake a multitude of things), but that too doesn't make matters easy. Sometimes it really is the state of things, and in particular the state of a nation, that is the impediment. Sometimes it really is HARD!!

As Miss Nigeria in America it is assumed that I am in a position to "move and shake." It is true that I have resources and a wide network of individuals and, even if I cannot manage to make direct contact with a resource, I can quickly be put in contact with someone who can. But with all these benefits I am still having difficulty trying to get what I want DONE. It is not a lack of passion or because of an impeding schedule but rather the difficulty in understanding what is really going on in Nigeria. It is at this point when I try to wrap my head around the fact that my call to the Orphanage in Okwelle just will not go through and added to that the fact that no one in Owerri knows where the orphanage is, that I realize what has happened: I have become Westernized. I operate with Western ideals and hopes, clouded expectancies in which I expect that answers to my questions will return to me in an "instant"; spoiled by the luxuries of communication devices, transportation systems, and other "advancements". I erroneously think that the world resembles my immediate surroundings and commonplace experiences. I have shut myself in from the outside world and have lost touch with reality. And the reality for most, including those in Nigeria and from Nigeria, is that my tunnel vision focus is surreal or rather, no reality at all.

Its not that I was disappointed that I could not get through to anyone at the orphanage but I honestly could not and do not understand why I couldn't get through and ultimately, why Nigeria is the way it is. Why don't we have better communication devices? Why aren't the roads paved and the transportation vehicles reliable? Why aren't we more advanced (technological and otherwise)? It is definitely not because we suffer from a lack of ingenuity. There are thousands of Nigerians in the States and all across the globe that are Engineers of all sorts, Entrepreneurs, Nurses and Doctors, Lawyers, Politicians, Educators, Inventors and Scientists, and who hold a host of other occupations and degrees, and whose opulence and intelligence would shock us all. This should at least warrant us a multitude of progressive staples in our country but to our dismay Nigeria is still the way it is and I am still a bit disconnected from it all.

I wanted to write this entry as my attempt to communicate to you the difficulty in getting anything of substance accomplished in Nigeria. I truly wanted to discuss the relentless attempts MNIA has made to make the dream of free education possible to the children at the Motherless Babies Home in Okwelle. I wanted to describe the setbacks of such a dream and the setbacks of Nigeria, but all I seem to point out are the setbacks of being away from home. I have spent 23 years way from my home and have let ambitions and other commitments prevent me from getting in touch with my roots. And though it really is hard some days to hold on to a dream, its even harder to let go of it. The great thing about this dream is that it not only allows me to be of service to others but it also keeps me grounded in Nigeria.

Much Love,

Ronke A. Oke
Miss Nigeria in America, 2008